Monday, January 17, 2011

Getting closer!

I figure while I'm reminiscing, now is a good time to post about a new development in the Onstine Family... NO, I am NOT pregnant... For some time now, I have been feeling very impressed to make some changes with my home-based business. You all know how much I love Arbonne. I love their products, people, ethics and philosophy. However, I want more time at home. Well, I don't, but I do... Does that make sense?
Sometimes it's tough to be home more, cause I need a break often from the challenges of parenting but really, I KNOW, like I know, like I know, that I NEED to be more PRESENT with my children (and everyone else for that matter). I have learned that being home is NOT the same thing as being present and have been working at this for some years now. For some, this is a natural part of parenting but it has not been for me... my true challenge. For example: when I am playing barbies with Mackenzie there is a little jeopardy timer in my head ticking away while I am thinking of other things... you know like, when can I be done, I have laundry or dishes or some other child to help or craft to start or other random thoughts... True presence allows me to sit and play barbies, just sit and enjoy the senses of that experience being shared with my daughter.
Of course I love my kids and I am a task oriented worker by nature... How to merge the two and reconcile my upbringing which inspired me to work from a young age. I love to work, I will say and have generated much satisfaction from contributing to the family financially... SO, what to do? because trust me, there are times, I really would rather be working (even if only from home)... Seriously.
So a wonderful thing happened as I was finally allowing my soul to be open... REALLY open. Not easy for a control freak like me to be. I had been meditating for quite some time (like months) when the thought came to me to call a friend I hadn't spoken to in years... Of course as I pondered the thought I came up with a million reason not to... But I have learned to act quickly when I feel so impressed. Long story short? She gave me another business option (not that I hadn't had plenty of them over the years, but somehow the timing was different) Now what to DO??
I'd been praying for this right?! But, actually taking actions to do something COMPLETELY different were tough for me, my ego, and my pocket book... LOL
Guess what?! After quite a feeling of "jumping off a cliff" and literally building my wings of faith on the way down, life has been nothing short of amazing! And guess what else?! This new adventure includes RANDY!!!!!! Who knew we could be such fantastic business partners? This has been by far the best gift for us both! It has given us something to work towards together and given him the confidence to develop a new skill set that gives us another income stream. We always thought that I was the entrepreneur but as it turns out.... SO IS HE!! Who knew?!
I am in love all over again I could go on and on about the things we are learning together and what it has done to enhance our friendship and relationship but I'll keep those to myself for now.
I'll add this... I wish that I had been more open to the Lord's plan at this time for me a lot sooner! I was raised under circumstances that required me to feel in control of things and over the years I learned how to maintain that... BUT, I am finally learning to really LET GO... Such a miracle, if you only knew!
I know that the Lord waits to bless us all... Must be frustrating for him when he comes across a soul like me, who honestly for years, must be resisting amazing things due to my inability to truly LET GO and let him. Life is a process isn't it? and its about PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION. May we all be willing to progress
PS, I still Love and use Arbonne

4 comments:

themasons said...

I am so happy for you guys, and I know from my own experience being present for your children become even more important as they grow older and become teens. I think you are awesome and I'm excited for you, you have always been one Iv'e looked up to!

Shan B. said...

You are amazing at whatever you do....just sayin :) It's been fun catching up on your blog. I gotta get mine caught up too...slowly but surely :) What is it that you are doing now? Did I miss that?

Amber said...

No, I didn't mention it. We are both trading in the stock market from home in the mornings... Crazy cool!

kp said...

I'm all caught up! Looks like you guys have been having fun.. No wonder you haven't had time to blog. And I love this post, although our circumstances are very different, I see so much of myself in the things you are saying. Good luck with these changes